Said The Moon

Bring on the hallucination, because we will be awake until we are kissed by the sun. 

I am done trying to find sleep.

Open the window because I want to go outside and the doors are locked.

It's me and silent feet and the sound of the ground beneath me waking up. 

Don't wake the sleepers.

Don't wake the midnight dreamers.

Don't wake the monsters under the bed.

"Being dumb is never cute."

But tonight you are a fool and I think you are beautiful.

I don't want to fall away. 

I don't want to fall away, but I can feel it starting to pull at my finger tips.

I can see it pulling at your shoulders. 

I can hear the voice of sleep calling. 

I will stay awake. 

You tell me that we can't waste a night like this.

And I have never heard anything so honest.

I ponder over your silhouette that dances across the asphalt. 

"I will make you lovely" said the moon. 

"I will make you lovely" said the moon.

-K

Hate Me.

I hung my happiness up for everyone to see. 
I hung my happiness up for YOU to see. 
I wanted you to see it.
I wanted you to hate it. 
I wanted you to feel like everything that you have ever done in this world that was the slightest bit cruel was pulling at the hairs on your arms. Annoying. 
I wanted you to hate me the way that you hate wearing socks. 
The way you hate him.
Hate her.
Hate yourself.
Hate the mirror.
Hate sleeping in.
Hate growing up.                                         
Hate tennis. 
Hate love.
Hate winter.
Hate us.
Hate coats.     
Hate birds.
Hate waiting.
Hate that song.
Hate flowers.
Hate dirtbags.
Hate vanilla. 
Hate hell.
Hate the city.
Hate me.
Hate me.
Hate me.
Hate me.
Hate me.
Please.
Please save yourself from the pain of dealing with my me-ness. 
Truth is, I have stopped dealing with your self destructive you-ness.  
You're a disease in my lungs and I am a tear in your heart. 
Together we are the worst mistake. 

-K

Without Forgetting.

I remember when I was five and I thought that I had to ask my parents if it was okay to get out of the bathtub. I would yell until they answered "CAN I GET OUT NOW!?...MOM?!...DADDY?!...IS IT OKAY IF I GET OUT OF THE BATH NOW?!".  I remember the day when I got out with asking and nothing happened, I didn't get in trouble. I Think they were just happy that I stopped yelling. 

I remember making plans summer of 2012 for summer 2013 and then everything changing. 

I remember Thursday, March 14th 2013, 9:00 P.M. As much as I try to forget this, I remember it. 

I remember when my parents lived in the same state as me. 

I remember when I thought it would be better if I was blonde. 

I remember when my dad started calling me Kels-o and 
I felt obligated to give him a nickname so I started calling him 
daddy-o and to this day we still call each other those names. 

I remember catching bees in our butterfly nets. We liked the thrill. 

I remember when I didn't know you. 

I remember when I was 6 and my best friend lived two housed down from me and she had a red tree house that I was jealous of. I remember when her dad ate a worm. 

I remember when my older sister decided to tell me what sex was.

I remember when I used to invite all the kids from my neighborhood over to play on my slip n' slide. 

I remember falling in love with a white and red light house on the cost of Oregon in December. 

I remember when we sold crystal light on the corner of our street and Tim and his friend ran their bikes into the table. (I don't know if you remember this, Tim.) I remember crying because I spilled the crystal light and your mom wanted me to clean it up.

I remember when I thought "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas was the song of the devil. 

I remember when we went into the abandoned school.

I remember when I used to like going to church. I also remember when I stopped going. I remember when I started going again. 

I remember when Maroon 5 was the best band I had ever heard. 

I remember when we got into a fight and we thought that if we listened to the High school Musical sound track everything would be better, but instead you told me you didn't want to be my friend anymore. I cried on the way home because you were my only friend.  

I remember the first time you told me that you loved me. 

I remember when I ate dog food and cat food to see which one tasted better, just in case I had to live off of it for the rest of my life. The cat food was better. 

I remember when I would stack pillows and blankets around me so I wouldn't have to see the lightning outside and I would put the Little Mermaid on and turn the volume up. 

-K

I love rain.

Cheers to when we used to be alive.
Cheers to the way that you used to look at me.
Cheers to insanity. 

All I can do is stay curious and
all you can do is let me know you love me. 

We are made of clouds and dirt.
But you are made of rain.

My soul is dry and it needs rain.

My hands are dirty and they need rain.

My knees are bloody and they need rain.

I love rain.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love rain.      

-K